Still More Signs Of Our Times

This one's a key maker from Dadar, got it while coming back from class.

It seems he makes Cabod-Door keys (CUPBOARD Door Keys XD )
and some 'Loker Repairing' too...


Err, Yeah...Derbis...I assume they meant Debris, but 'Don't throw Debris' is grammatically incorrect and funny anyway...

'Derbis' just made it 10 times funnier though...

Keep Visiting! I'm hoping for 500 hits by my birthday!!! (Oh yeah, wishful thinking...)

Rubbernecking...or...Jaw Jacking...or....Collar-Rocking or...

So...We get all kinds o folks at Somaiya...the nerds, the wannabes, the outcasts...
But all of them are groups...Here is an individual who stands alone individually because no one can stand his Infuriatingly Idiotic Individuality...

In other words, he's weird...

Yes the video is called 'A Somaiyaite Freaking out In a Freaked out Electronics Lecture'

Title could have been better, but the subject matter is what counts, no?



Yes, Thats right, Feel the Stupidity...Watch him getting his freak on, and Witness how comfortable he is with his own craziness as he realizes that people are taping his...act* and still refuses to stop...

*I've been trying to come up with a phrase for his...err...thing...here are a few ways to describe it, choose the one you think is funniest...

Rubbernecking
Neck-Pumping
Jaw-Jutting
Head-jacking
Neck-Jackhammer-ing
Head-Banging (But that kinda insults MetalHeads and Thrash lovers everywhere so forget it)
Duck-Neck Dancing
Neck-Thrusts
Head-Freaking...

Got any more ideas? Post em as comments to this post...!

Bad Santa-Christmas Special!!

Right, so after class on Christmas Eve, I'm walking back home and I meet Santa, doing some last minute preparations for his Annual Christmas Eve, present delivery trip...

But he wasn't exactly buying Prancer, Dancer and his other Reindeers a set of shiny new antlers...

More accurately, He was getting One for the Road, at 'The Wine Shack'
I laughed my ass off..took a bunch of pics...then laughed some more...



Oh Yeah, Santa likes getting Wasted!!!!

Thats when he noticed me and started yelling some very Un-Santa like things...Got a few better pics before he saw me though...


Merry Christmas Everybody!!!
I got more lined up, to come between now and New Year's...so keep checking for updates!

Ut-Crasher!

As many of you may already know, I haven't gone to college for the last 5 days...reason?
It's 'Cultural event' time!! which means we have Utkarsh and KJ Somaiya's Surabhi as well as minor 'Cultural Programmes' from the 14th to the 22nd, after which Holidays begin...

All this means to me, is an extended vacation where I sadly end up utilizing my time 'fruitfully' instead of sitting on the computer...

Though I ended up going to college thinking there might be Physics practicals today, and I ended up seeing This


Thats the front 'desk' for registrations in 'Elevaura'
(reminds me of 'Elvira'(-you don't know who that is? well ask wiki, why don't cha?))

I have no idea what that means and I barely care to find out...though why a College fest ends up looking like a nomadic gypsy tribe settlement?? The answer lies in the mysterious theme of the whole program...


In Case you can't read it, the words are

'The greatest treasures are those Invisible to us, but can be found...'

Oh hot dang! How movingly Profound for a split second unless you stop and realize that this phrase printed on expensive high gloss posters and put up across the city is absolute nonsense...

The black thing is the silhouette of a scarecrow, in keeping with the theme

"Villiages-Our Country's National Treasure'

We also have 2 mascots...I neglected to photograph them, but I will as soon as I go there the next time...

One is a Scarecrow...which looks either funny or disturbing, (depends on your point of view)...Because its a T-shirt stuffed with straw with an upside down pot for a head... which is propped up on a stick, in the middle of the Campus looking like a tribal human sacrifice...

The other is a Anthropomorphic GOAT...
Why a Goat? No Idea...
But this goat wears black T-shirts and ripped jeans and sports an electric guitar as well as an expression of a 'drunken boozer'(thanks Shady, thats a useful phrase)

Which is a TOTAL Antithesis to the average Somaiyaite who would be socially ostracized if they even considered a mildly alternative look like an earring (worn by a guy), or a 'boy-cut' (sported by a girl)...

Oh well, crap happens...And we unwilling Somaiyaites call it Ut-Crash...

Funny Lines from Funny Professors...

The following are conversations which occur in class sometimes, punctuated with silly pronunciations and an even sillier choice of words...


No-1

Student: Sir, we do we have that last resistor in the circuit?

Prof: It is to protect de(the) appliance or you can say that de electrical 'Camponent' (component)

Student: Sir...as in?

Prof: Liike...when you eat the food you wash your hand na? Or I say Before you eat the food you wash, or we can say 'clean' your hands na? Isn't that to PROTECT YOUR STOMACH???

Student: XD


No2-

Prof: You should always be the prepare...anything can happen at...any moment!!Now you see, I will explain...once when I was in traveling on the buses, and one girl had one of the Rs. 100 or Rs. 50 Rupees bucks in her pocket...

More to come, when I get more time...

My Photography Piece De Resistance!!!

The Best Somaiya Photo I have seen in a looong time...Ok, So I didn't take it myself but my freind did the risky job of catching his professor napping during a lecture...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LECTURE!!! He apparently gave 'em a numerical sum to solve, at which point he took five (minutes) to catch up on his forty (winks)


Okay, so the title is misleading and it's not MY photography...but it's a piece de resistance, no doubt...

Credit goes to Nokia H@cK3R, from my college, who I don't wanna name...

Photography

If a Picture is worth a thousand words, this is one BIG ASS post...

Pic 1- An Ad for a Tour Bus service from Mumbai to Ahmedbad

Witness, the horrific massacre of the English language...though them giving you stuff at birth is a nice bonus. (Where;s my INDI-VISUAL SPEAKER dude???)

Pic 2- How do you make things better?? put it on a stick!!

Ever since the Ice-cream stick, it's turned into a cheesy fad...Corn Dogs (On a stick) some countries have 'Meat Sticks on a Stick'...Heck, even kebabs prove that everything is better when on a stick, but isn't a plate on a stick going too far???

It's actually a seat in The Somaiya Engineering College canteen, and this is one of the only ones still in shape and not warped by the fatasses who normally occupy the places...






And this one is on the back of an Auto

Svabhiman se Jiyo
Luchyagiri, chamchagiri, Dalali, Bhadwagiri
Chhod do...

which means

Live with honour
Quit being idle
Quit being a suck-up
Quit being a whore
and QUIT BEING AN ASSHOLE!!!!

Enough said...

Aaba Dhubi-Our 'Noble Pastime'

Aaba Dhubi


A short clip of collegiates playing the game of 'Aaba Dhubi'. The objective of the game is to strike your opponents with projectiles (Which could be anything small, in this case, a bottle), while simultaneously dodging your opponents throws. 1 point per hit, and first to 5 points wins.

Watch it for the scene in which the person who was previously a spectator gets whacked by a bottle and jumps into the fray...

*Sigh* and No one plays basketball here...

I'm an @$$h0|e-Dennis Leary

An Old Song which I wanted to share with you guys...it's a lot like 'Hot Dog' but this is funny instead of a stress buster...

South Park!!

Count on me to leave the best for last...now that the holidays are ending (class starts on Monday! >_< )I just remembered my buddies stash of South park Episodes which I had planned to watch...

Now that I got down to looking at the CD, I find out the 6 episodes, 3 are corrupted But The the remaining 3 are PWNAGE!!!
I've meant to watch this for a Looong while, after I saw the movie last year (yes, yes, Pretty late, I know...) and I'm a Simpsons fan...(South Park is very similar to The Simpsons in a lot of ways, but SP has stronger languge, and more controversial content...)

I watched the episodes

'Chinpokomon!' (Total out-take on Pokemon...insults it like hell, and it's Hilariously done...)

'Sexual Harassment Panda'-I watched it 3 days ago and I'm still laughing about it...enough said...

'Osama Bin Laden has Farty Pants'- This one was pretty lame...too much 'American patriotism' for me...

Here's a few quotes From 'Sexual Harassment Panda'-

Kyle's Dad gives him an Explanation

Gerald: You see, Kyle, we live in a liberal, democratic society. And democrats make sexual harassment laws. These laws tell us what we can and can't say in the workplace, and what we can and can't do in the workplace.
Kyle: Isn't that fascism?
Gerald: No, because we don't call it fascism. Do you understand?
Kyle: Do you?

The Introduction To The Show-

(Teacher) Mr. Garrison: Okay class, as part of the new curriculum, We're going to have to teach you about Sexual Harassment in Schools...

Kyle: WHAT?

Mr. G: Now, does anyone here know what Sexual Harassment is...anybody?Eric??

Eric Cartman: Errr...Sexual Harassment is when...you're trying to have intercourse with a 'Lady Friend' and some other guy comes up behind you and Tickles your balls...

As you can see, it gets pretty crazy with the humor...but I'd recommend it to any 'Simpsons' Fans

Signs Of Our Times-2

Strange sign...haven't specified which 'Tree'...I don't know what exactly is so funny about this, but It just is...

Signs Of Our Times

A Beautiful Example of A signboard on The Somaiya Campus
Some places have a Rs.50 fine, some places have a Rs. 100 fine...But this place is 'special'
Rs. 0!

Profanity is Good for you-Warning Explicit Lyrics

I'm not kidding with the title, this is a load of profanity...if you are a kid, get the Fu*k away from this post...


Ever felt REALLY pissed off at someone?
Like you could smash his/her face on the wall and paint the ceiling with his/her brains??
Well YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! Dozens of people wish to perform wanton crazy acts of violence when they're just plain Angry, but the trick is knowing how to deal with it, and NOT ending up doing 6 years jail time for Assault-Battery...
Which is an acceptable time for you to Curse...to Abuse, to Cuss like a Sailor, so to speak...

Which actually helps you blow off steam and cool down...

So, Bitch, before you ask me why I abuse so much, answer me one fuckin question,

Would you rather I kick you so hard my foot gets stuck in your ass???

As you can see, I am pissed off at the moment, but the reason you do not see my face on the evening news is that I found an old song that helps me relax...lyrics here...


"Hot Dog"

Ladies and gentlemen!
Introducing the Chocolate Starfish!
and the Hotdog Flavored Water
Bring it on!
Get the fuck up!
Yeah!
Check, one, two

Listen up, listen up!
Here we go
It's a fucked up world
A fucked up place
Everybody's judged by their fucked up face
Fucked up dreams
Fucked up life
A fucked up kid
With a fucked up knife
Fucked up moms
And fucked up dads
It's a fucked up a cop
With a fucked up badge
Fucked up job
With fucked up pay
And a fucked up boss
Is a fucked up pain
Fucked up press
And fucked up lies
Well, Lethal's in the back
With the fact of the fires

Hey, it's on
Everybody knows it's on
Hey, it's on
Everybody knows it's on

Ain't it a shame that you can't say "Fuck"
Fuck's just a word
And it's all fucked up
Like a fucked up punk
With a fucked up mouth
A nine inch nail
I'll get knocked the fuck out
Fucked up aids
From fucked up sex
Fake ass titties
On a fucked up chest
We're all fucked up
So whatcha wanna do?
We fucked up me
And fucked up you

You wanna fuck me like an animal
You'd like to burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug
Just know that nothing you do
Will bring you closer to me

Ain't life a bitch?
A fucked up bitch
A fucked up sore with a fucked up stitch
A fucked up head
Is a fucked up shame
Swinging on my nuts
Is a fucked up game
Jealousy filling up a fucked up mind
It's real fucked up
Like a fucked up crime
If I say "Fuck", two more times
That's forty six "Fucks" in this fucked up rhyme

Ahh...yess...I feel so much better...till next time then...

Moronic Advertising - HCL Laptops

It's been a while since my last post and this post has been on my mind for a while now...I came out with the Idea back when the Ad was new and crappy , now it's old and crappy...

To refresh your memories, here it is again



What happens in this Ad which sucks?

Well it starts with a perverted dude taking photos of a hot woman in a coffee shop...the hot woman happens to be a total bimbo who doesn't realize the dude is taking her pic even when He's being so painstakingly obvious about it.. so he doesn't even have to be secretive about it...

What point are they trying to make?
'HCL Leaptops, the Indispensable tool of Voyeurs and Perverts everywhere!!!'
I hope not...

Then the guy posts her pic online and shows off his Perv skills, AND takes help from all his stalker friends to find out who the target is...

The only part I liked is when the smartass in the white shirt comes in, pushes the standby mode switch and exposes the whole operation...I expected the next scene to be
the people in the vicinity opening a can of whoop-ass on the perv

but NOOOOO...The hot woman hangs out happily ever after with the chronic pervert, which cements the unrealistic bullshit that this Ad is...
Who made this goddamn Ad anyway? Sanjay Leela Bhansali after he finished making 'Saawariya'?

Professors...Part one, of, I expect...several parts

On popular request, I've decided to do a small piece on my professors...unfortunately, for the sake of saving my ass, I won;t use their names, but I will talk about them in general (Each professor actually deserves a whole post to do justice to the crappy things they do, but anyway, here goes)

We have professors who-

-Tell us that it's a bad thing to go to the canteen, even between lectures, or after school hours, and if he finds students in the canteen, he asks them if they are 'Rich Boys'...XD

-Tell us it's OK to bunk his lecture because 'He has observed that people who bunk get higher marks in his subject than people who attend'

-Tell us (especially during the monsoon season) stuff like,' I don't feel like teaching today...the 'mood is not there'...Chalo, Shaayari Lagate hai...(you, know, Shaayari...like urdu beat poetry...depressing topics, repetitive rhymes and a lot of people yelling 'Waah Waah')

-Start talking in Marathi and Gujarati without noticing it...

-Refers to his better half as his 'W-I-F-E', as if it's a swearword that can't be spoken out loud by decent folk (a lot like F-U-C-K)

-Refers to the Principal as 'Yeda' (Moron)

-Tell us that it's important to come for his lecture in 11th standard...after all, it's important to at least know what your Professor LOOKS like...in 12th nobody attends anyway...

-Say things like...'Are you poor??? as if it's the most logical explanation for not wearing an ID card

-A male professor who, male classmates claim, takes Orals as an excuse to have guys sit next to him, so that he can feel their thighs when he's asking them questions (eew...haven't seen it first hand, and I thank goodness I haven't)

-A Prof who hears a ringing cell phone in the class, during an exam, yells at everyone asking 'Whose phone is that' for a while before realizing it's her own phone...

-A professor who asked random students to teach during his lecture, just so that they 'Realize what a tough job it is'

-A Professor who denounces Coaching clases vehemently in his lectures, but takes private tutions himself...

-A Prof who yells at us for reading the textbook while she's lecturing from it...her exact words were 'If you like to read textbook so much, you can do it all for self study!!!'
(Our reaction was- Okie dokie...not like you teach us much anyway)

-A big, bulky, tough looking male Prof. who caught students copying and told them, in a surprisingly girly voice that they could ''Come down, darlings, so we can meet 'Princy' "

To Be Continued...
Thats All for now...Comments are encouraged...

Sorry I didn't update for a while...my exams were on...

Cell Phone Panic

I'm sure everyone's heard novelty ringtones...

you know...ones like 'Pick up the damn Phone!!!' or 'Phone utha!!' (the latter ringtone is more common, and it's yelled in a child's voice at a surprisingly quick speed and surprisingly annoying pitch...)

A rarer version is the Innuendo filled 'Uncle aap ka Baj raha hain...'
Which is where this picks off...

Dude is playing with his phone during a lecture...
Prof: *catches him*
Dude: Err, sorry sir, I was just putting it on silent...

Others in class: Hmm...so his phone isn't on silent...let the games begin...!!!

*They call the unfortunate dude's cell phone*

Unfortunate Dude's Phone:*ringing*

UNCLE AAP KA BAJ RAHA HAI!!!!
ZOR ZOR SE " " "
JAM JAM KE " " "
LAGA LAGA KE " " "

and so on...if you did'nt catch the implied meaning, I suggest a crash course in Mumbai hindi...

The guys phone was confiscated, he got the phone back later in the day...the first thing that people suggest is-

Dude, check your balance...knowing these Professors, they probably made three and a half hour ISD calls off your phone...

Which brings me nicely to the my next intended post...on the Professors...

Cell Phone Pranks- Do try this in your own college...

If there's one thing I've learned about Cell phones in Somaiya, it's that I should NEVER show it to other people without having a 20-point checklist to see if they messed around with anything...This has been tougher than usual now that I have a new cell phone and people want to see what songs I have, what themes I have and what my high scores are...and maybe leech a few things off you with bluetooth...

( One guy even wanted to borrow my phone until he broke my 'Quadra Pop' high score...some people have WAY too much free time)

But too many, sometimes risky, always funny incidents can take place when a cell phone is used in class...

There's this one guy who got himself a new cell and kept pestering people to

Quote' Send me Teenbuzz na....plzplzplzplz k, thanks....'

(For those of you who don't know what Teenbuzz is, you can)

a)Buy a cell phone

OR

b)If you already have a cell and don't know what Teenbuzz is, you should probably tell me which hole you've been stuck in for the last 2 years, and after you're rescued, you can

c) Look it up on Google...


Anyway, he does this in he middle of a rare, intellectually stimulating lecture(i.e. the Prof had cracked a few P.J's)

Annoyed classmates sent him a file called

'Sardar Reliance' which is a sound file of a guy who does a Punjabi accent, abusing a guy who picks his call up on the Reliance Helpline...

Only, they renamed it as Teenbuzz...

The dude received the file and decided to play it in class to show people just how annoying he could be...

And What comes out...in level 9 volume is...

"Hello...hello???....MA!*^)(*!&^)# S#)!_* Tera @^)!(* ki @(*&@ bees hazar tees hazar ka bill banate ho !!
Teri Maa ki #()@!&(*#^!)!&#)!(#
#*)@*_@

etc..etc..." You get the idea...

The teacher...goes like...'What...What?? who's doing that???who's playing (Quote) 'bad bad words' on their phones????

Nobody owns up...
Prof realizes there's no point...
Class is back to normal...

This is just one of many...
More Cell phone fiasco's later...

New Layout!!!

After taking a cue from Blackle, the Black Google search engine (No, it's not Racist, and NO it's not a search engine exclusively for rappers, pimps, and their ho's)

It's basically Google with a back background...but the thing is, monitors take less energy displaying black than white...this means that if a site like Google, with millions of hits each day turns black, you'll save a whole load of energy which could come in handy, what with all the Global Warming and Environmental Apocalypse and all...

I do this in anticipation of the most pointless Exam I have to write...EVS...

I'm contributing...I'm part of the solution...ARE YOU HAPPY NOW???

T shirts and Somaiya...the War continues...

I've been thinking, if Students aren't allowed to wear T-shirts...what exactly is the management trying to pull here?? Making us go back to 'Traditional Indian attire'...

Allow me to explain what will come to pass if this is what they intend...

Guys wear clothes like these...-
It's Indian...It's traditional...you wanted it, you got it...
The guy in this pic is at least in shape...if you get half the overweight dudes in my college into clothes like these, the only thing you 'll be thinking about is jiggling jell-O, studies are out of the question...

Oh, and if you REALLY want traditional clothes, go back to the vedic age, where women didn't wear nothing but a dhoti
and a lot of necklaces...and you say tight T-shirts are distracting...I'm tempted to search for a few pics illustrating this subject, unfortunately though, it will probably be unsuitable for general viewing...

I guess this means that sticking to the rules CAN be a form of protest...

Here's to all you obese Somaiyaite guys...come to college like this, and JIGGLE FOR JUSTICE!!!!

Just...do it when I'm bunking please...

T-shirts in Somaiya College

So...Engineering College students in KJ Somaiya College staged a walk out after dozens of students were not allowed to write their exam as they were wearing T-shirts...

And of course, considering that T shirts are the root of all evil, such a crime is unforgivable, right??

Yeah, Somaiya is a bunch of conservatives, we all know that, but what bothers me the most is that the management sits down and wastes time on a t-shirt ban, when there are many better things to resolve...

I mean, if you want students to dress in a specific way according to your taste, lay down a damn uniform system...and then you can piss people off and show them that it's not worth joining, BEFORE they actually start college...

What next...I presume, it's going to be a cell phone ban...

Why?
Some people have cell phones
Some people's cell phones support 'multimedia playback'
Multimedia Playback includes Videos
Videos may be porn...

So go one step further and ban cell phones...
You say it's a P.J. now, but when they impose it next month I'm gonna rub it all in ya faces...

'The Unwilling Somaiyaite'- WTF is WITH THESE PEOPLE???

Right...so this college happened to be Somaiya college...I had heard about it before, nothing bad really...

Unfortunately, right from day one, it was deplorable...

After the mandatory introduction session (you know how it goes)...the dude next to me strikes up a little conversation...which went a bit like this...

Dude: Hey, so you're name's *****, right?
Me: Yeah
Dude: So...going by your name, you're a catholic, right?
Me:Yeah
Dude: So...you probably drink a lot then, right?
Me: WTF?????????????????????????????

What drinking has to do with being catholic, I have no idea...all I know is, back in the 70's, mainstream Bollywood portrayed catho's as incorrigible alcoholics...I have'nt come across a single moron who has taken it this seriously...

'The Unwilling Somaiyaite'-How I got into this Hell-Hole...

A lot of you...(If anyone even visits this corner of the net) may wonder WTF the title stands for...

An Explanation is what you deserve, and here it is:-

(WARNING- GRATUITOUS RANTING AHEAD)

After living 16 fun years, the education system decided that I was finally old enough have my ass chomped down on by the jaws of Board exams...

(for those of you lucky folks who are blissfully oblivious, My college admission depended on the shitty 2-digit number I got as a total percentage...Why oh why does the board exam give you the right to judge a person??its a F***ing test result, not a background check...Must be an 'Indian' thing)

So when I finally realized that people look at you funny and discriminate because you didn't cross the 85% barrier (In the case of a science student anyway) I had 3 months to get my ass in line...

Gifted student that I am, I scored 86...

Sadly, this year the yardstick was raised to an 88, after a lot of students crossed the 85 barrier...

This meant that I missed the college I wanted to get into by 1%..and I was presented with a dilemma...

Go to a respected college thats far away...
OR
Go to an O.K. college thats close by...

'Far away' means I have to spend 3 hours a day travelling by train with people packed in like sardines in a can, and my nose stuck in some fellow commuters armpit...this is the reason I picked the O.K. college...lenient attendance, nice timings...close by...what else could a guy want...

This Is My Blog...

This is my Blog...there are many like it, But this one is MINE...
This Blog is nothing, without my views and opinions...my views and opinions are nothing if unexpressed...

That being said...if you don't agree with my opinion, I suggest you GTFO my blog...

Updates will be here shortly, meanwhile, enjoy the sweet sound of whining as I writhe in frustration because of my exams
-Cheers
-Arr0w