Wednesday, April 23, 2008

SRK should be available in Liquid form...

...So that every man, woman and child can take an SRK injection. That way, he won't feel the need to plague our senses by parading on every channel on TV, and we might just end up watching something that doesn't contain him.

Sports Channels?- Ever since he bought himself an IPL team
Music Channels- He's come out with Cassettes and CD's of his IPL team's Theme song.
News Channels- When nothing even vaguely or remotely interesting has happened in the film industry. (i.e.- Every Other Day)
Entertainment channel- With his shameless rip off of the '5th Grader' game show genre.
Movie Channels- Do I even need to elaborate?

Of course, This does not include the several thousand times he appears on TV for Advertising and Endorsements.

It seems obvious that SRK has gained/invented/discovered the power of Omnipresence, much to the dismay of the entertainment starved populace.

Dear Mr. Khan....I just want to say, there are some things that Humans just weren't meant to have. And this is one thing YOU just aren't supposed to have. It's morally wrong, and as you know, it's illegal, what with the Laws of Physics and all.

Give it up, dude. Give it up.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Where Movie Merchandising goes horribly wrong...

Thats when you find-

Pirates Of The Caribbean-Jack Sparrow Deodarant spray.-

I shit you not, this is something I saw at my neighborhood supermarket and laughed my head off at, Much to the surprise and shock of innocent bystanders, who were further puzzled when I tried to take a picture of it on my camera phone (Which came out blurred...darn, you'll have to make do by looking for it on google.). They probably thought I was a professional shoplifter adding things to my 'hit-list' or something.

But back to the point, this is an example of A Movie Tie-Up that makes no sense. Because Pirates were the kind of people who bathed rarely, and by rarely, I mean once every few years. Their aroma is the kind expected of the average Scurvy Cur who hasn't changed his underwear since he was five, and who's been stewing in salt water and sweat in the same set of clothes for over three years. 'Pungent' would be an Understatement. 'Putrid' Would be more accurate.
'Fucking crazy' would be a person who would actually want to smell like that.

Oh, and the real kicker is the fine print at the bottom of the can which says '100% Alcohol free'.
Would Jack Sparrow, a character who's most fondly remembered line is, 'But Why is the Rum Gone?', approve?
Quite clearly, Hell No.

Worth a laugh, though.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Out Of The Blue- Fashionable Ignorance

I have deviated from writing about Somaiya and it's Slip Ups on several past occasions. And I Intend to do so a lot more. Just for the hell of it, and don't give me that crap about false advertising unless you want some about freedom of speech. I will however, alert you by adding the phrase 'Out Of The Blue' in the title, to specify that it is a semi-meaningless post filled with crap collected from the seventh ring of Hell. Don't say I didn't warn you

I hate ass baring low rider jeans. With a vengeance.

I hate T shirts with moronic messages like 'Pull me out from the inside' or 'Free Hand lotion, pull below'.

I hate wannabes who take the time to adjust their (much hated) Low rider pants to let the fake brand name 'Jaakey' peek out.

It's about as smart as a Flashlight Shotgun And it makes me happy as a lark to be blissfully unaware about fashionable crap.

But, as a fashionably ignorant nerd, (and proud of it) there are a few things I wish were in fashion.

For instance, T shirts like the ones worn by this lady here.
(Watching 'A Good year' is very bearable when you have bits like this to encourage you)

Now, am I the only person who thinks that kicks ass? Low rider pants? Naah, do one step further and get Low rider, Off-shoulder T-shirts....I think Gucci actually makes em too!


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