Professors...Part one, of, I expect...several parts

On popular request, I've decided to do a small piece on my professors...unfortunately, for the sake of saving my ass, I won;t use their names, but I will talk about them in general (Each professor actually deserves a whole post to do justice to the crappy things they do, but anyway, here goes)

We have professors who-

-Tell us that it's a bad thing to go to the canteen, even between lectures, or after school hours, and if he finds students in the canteen, he asks them if they are 'Rich Boys'...XD

-Tell us it's OK to bunk his lecture because 'He has observed that people who bunk get higher marks in his subject than people who attend'

-Tell us (especially during the monsoon season) stuff like,' I don't feel like teaching today...the 'mood is not there'...Chalo, Shaayari Lagate hai...(you, know, Shaayari...like urdu beat poetry...depressing topics, repetitive rhymes and a lot of people yelling 'Waah Waah')

-Start talking in Marathi and Gujarati without noticing it...

-Refers to his better half as his 'W-I-F-E', as if it's a swearword that can't be spoken out loud by decent folk (a lot like F-U-C-K)

-Refers to the Principal as 'Yeda' (Moron)

-Tell us that it's important to come for his lecture in 11th standard...after all, it's important to at least know what your Professor LOOKS like...in 12th nobody attends anyway...

-Say things like...'Are you poor??? as if it's the most logical explanation for not wearing an ID card

-A male professor who, male classmates claim, takes Orals as an excuse to have guys sit next to him, so that he can feel their thighs when he's asking them questions (eew...haven't seen it first hand, and I thank goodness I haven't)

-A Prof who hears a ringing cell phone in the class, during an exam, yells at everyone asking 'Whose phone is that' for a while before realizing it's her own phone...

-A professor who asked random students to teach during his lecture, just so that they 'Realize what a tough job it is'

-A Professor who denounces Coaching clases vehemently in his lectures, but takes private tutions himself...

-A Prof who yells at us for reading the textbook while she's lecturing from it...her exact words were 'If you like to read textbook so much, you can do it all for self study!!!'
(Our reaction was- Okie dokie...not like you teach us much anyway)

-A big, bulky, tough looking male Prof. who caught students copying and told them, in a surprisingly girly voice that they could ''Come down, darlings, so we can meet 'Princy' "

To Be Continued...
Thats All for now...Comments are encouraged...

Sorry I didn't update for a while...my exams were on...

Cell Phone Panic

I'm sure everyone's heard novelty ringtones...

you know...ones like 'Pick up the damn Phone!!!' or 'Phone utha!!' (the latter ringtone is more common, and it's yelled in a child's voice at a surprisingly quick speed and surprisingly annoying pitch...)

A rarer version is the Innuendo filled 'Uncle aap ka Baj raha hain...'
Which is where this picks off...

Dude is playing with his phone during a lecture...
Prof: *catches him*
Dude: Err, sorry sir, I was just putting it on silent...

Others in class: Hmm...so his phone isn't on silent...let the games begin...!!!

*They call the unfortunate dude's cell phone*

Unfortunate Dude's Phone:*ringing*

UNCLE AAP KA BAJ RAHA HAI!!!!
ZOR ZOR SE " " "
JAM JAM KE " " "
LAGA LAGA KE " " "

and so on...if you did'nt catch the implied meaning, I suggest a crash course in Mumbai hindi...

The guys phone was confiscated, he got the phone back later in the day...the first thing that people suggest is-

Dude, check your balance...knowing these Professors, they probably made three and a half hour ISD calls off your phone...

Which brings me nicely to the my next intended post...on the Professors...

Cell Phone Pranks- Do try this in your own college...

If there's one thing I've learned about Cell phones in Somaiya, it's that I should NEVER show it to other people without having a 20-point checklist to see if they messed around with anything...This has been tougher than usual now that I have a new cell phone and people want to see what songs I have, what themes I have and what my high scores are...and maybe leech a few things off you with bluetooth...

( One guy even wanted to borrow my phone until he broke my 'Quadra Pop' high score...some people have WAY too much free time)

But too many, sometimes risky, always funny incidents can take place when a cell phone is used in class...

There's this one guy who got himself a new cell and kept pestering people to

Quote' Send me Teenbuzz na....plzplzplzplz k, thanks....'

(For those of you who don't know what Teenbuzz is, you can)

a)Buy a cell phone

OR

b)If you already have a cell and don't know what Teenbuzz is, you should probably tell me which hole you've been stuck in for the last 2 years, and after you're rescued, you can

c) Look it up on Google...


Anyway, he does this in he middle of a rare, intellectually stimulating lecture(i.e. the Prof had cracked a few P.J's)

Annoyed classmates sent him a file called

'Sardar Reliance' which is a sound file of a guy who does a Punjabi accent, abusing a guy who picks his call up on the Reliance Helpline...

Only, they renamed it as Teenbuzz...

The dude received the file and decided to play it in class to show people just how annoying he could be...

And What comes out...in level 9 volume is...

"Hello...hello???....MA!*^)(*!&^)# S#)!_* Tera @^)!(* ki @(*&@ bees hazar tees hazar ka bill banate ho !!
Teri Maa ki #()@!&(*#^!)!&#)!(#
#*)@*_@

etc..etc..." You get the idea...

The teacher...goes like...'What...What?? who's doing that???who's playing (Quote) 'bad bad words' on their phones????

Nobody owns up...
Prof realizes there's no point...
Class is back to normal...

This is just one of many...
More Cell phone fiasco's later...

New Layout!!!

After taking a cue from Blackle, the Black Google search engine (No, it's not Racist, and NO it's not a search engine exclusively for rappers, pimps, and their ho's)

It's basically Google with a back background...but the thing is, monitors take less energy displaying black than white...this means that if a site like Google, with millions of hits each day turns black, you'll save a whole load of energy which could come in handy, what with all the Global Warming and Environmental Apocalypse and all...

I do this in anticipation of the most pointless Exam I have to write...EVS...

I'm contributing...I'm part of the solution...ARE YOU HAPPY NOW???

T shirts and Somaiya...the War continues...

I've been thinking, if Students aren't allowed to wear T-shirts...what exactly is the management trying to pull here?? Making us go back to 'Traditional Indian attire'...

Allow me to explain what will come to pass if this is what they intend...

Guys wear clothes like these...-
It's Indian...It's traditional...you wanted it, you got it...
The guy in this pic is at least in shape...if you get half the overweight dudes in my college into clothes like these, the only thing you 'll be thinking about is jiggling jell-O, studies are out of the question...

Oh, and if you REALLY want traditional clothes, go back to the vedic age, where women didn't wear nothing but a dhoti
and a lot of necklaces...and you say tight T-shirts are distracting...I'm tempted to search for a few pics illustrating this subject, unfortunately though, it will probably be unsuitable for general viewing...

I guess this means that sticking to the rules CAN be a form of protest...

Here's to all you obese Somaiyaite guys...come to college like this, and JIGGLE FOR JUSTICE!!!!

Just...do it when I'm bunking please...

T-shirts in Somaiya College

So...Engineering College students in KJ Somaiya College staged a walk out after dozens of students were not allowed to write their exam as they were wearing T-shirts...

And of course, considering that T shirts are the root of all evil, such a crime is unforgivable, right??

Yeah, Somaiya is a bunch of conservatives, we all know that, but what bothers me the most is that the management sits down and wastes time on a t-shirt ban, when there are many better things to resolve...

I mean, if you want students to dress in a specific way according to your taste, lay down a damn uniform system...and then you can piss people off and show them that it's not worth joining, BEFORE they actually start college...

What next...I presume, it's going to be a cell phone ban...

Why?
Some people have cell phones
Some people's cell phones support 'multimedia playback'
Multimedia Playback includes Videos
Videos may be porn...

So go one step further and ban cell phones...
You say it's a P.J. now, but when they impose it next month I'm gonna rub it all in ya faces...

'The Unwilling Somaiyaite'- WTF is WITH THESE PEOPLE???

Right...so this college happened to be Somaiya college...I had heard about it before, nothing bad really...

Unfortunately, right from day one, it was deplorable...

After the mandatory introduction session (you know how it goes)...the dude next to me strikes up a little conversation...which went a bit like this...

Dude: Hey, so you're name's *****, right?
Me: Yeah
Dude: So...going by your name, you're a catholic, right?
Me:Yeah
Dude: So...you probably drink a lot then, right?
Me: WTF?????????????????????????????

What drinking has to do with being catholic, I have no idea...all I know is, back in the 70's, mainstream Bollywood portrayed catho's as incorrigible alcoholics...I have'nt come across a single moron who has taken it this seriously...

'The Unwilling Somaiyaite'-How I got into this Hell-Hole...

A lot of you...(If anyone even visits this corner of the net) may wonder WTF the title stands for...

An Explanation is what you deserve, and here it is:-

(WARNING- GRATUITOUS RANTING AHEAD)

After living 16 fun years, the education system decided that I was finally old enough have my ass chomped down on by the jaws of Board exams...

(for those of you lucky folks who are blissfully oblivious, My college admission depended on the shitty 2-digit number I got as a total percentage...Why oh why does the board exam give you the right to judge a person??its a F***ing test result, not a background check...Must be an 'Indian' thing)

So when I finally realized that people look at you funny and discriminate because you didn't cross the 85% barrier (In the case of a science student anyway) I had 3 months to get my ass in line...

Gifted student that I am, I scored 86...

Sadly, this year the yardstick was raised to an 88, after a lot of students crossed the 85 barrier...

This meant that I missed the college I wanted to get into by 1%..and I was presented with a dilemma...

Go to a respected college thats far away...
OR
Go to an O.K. college thats close by...

'Far away' means I have to spend 3 hours a day travelling by train with people packed in like sardines in a can, and my nose stuck in some fellow commuters armpit...this is the reason I picked the O.K. college...lenient attendance, nice timings...close by...what else could a guy want...

This Is My Blog...

This is my Blog...there are many like it, But this one is MINE...
This Blog is nothing, without my views and opinions...my views and opinions are nothing if unexpressed...

That being said...if you don't agree with my opinion, I suggest you GTFO my blog...

Updates will be here shortly, meanwhile, enjoy the sweet sound of whining as I writhe in frustration because of my exams
-Cheers
-Arr0w