Tuesday, September 8, 2009

At a loss for words

As I got out of the station this morning, I noticed a pretty girl standing at the exit. It's not that I usually spend my commute engrossed in intense girl-spotting or anything, It's just that she had a certain 'noticeability'. I can't explain it. It's just a gift some people have. They tend to command attention even if they're just standing there looking like they're waiting for someone...

Anyway, as I walked out to take a share auto, I was letting my mind wander, as it so rarely gets to nowadays. And I started to wonder-Will society ever reach the point wherein It's not strange or creepy to strike up a conversation with a stranger? I mean, all people are strangers before you meet them, right? And (at least for me) meeting new people is wrought with uncomfortable silences, errs, ums, ahs and other shaky first steps towards getting acquainted. Something that I can do without. Thus, something that has made me somewhat asocial, of late.

And while I waited, finding no one else going the same way as me, the previously mentioned pretty girl walked up. Well, not quite walked up, as she kept around 5 metres distance away, looking at me uncertainly, as if she was looking for the right thing to say.

I looked back, realising what she probably wanted to say, that she was going to the college as well, and was looking for someone to take the share auto with.

But I didn't say anything.
I was totally flustered. Some people have that effect on me.

She didn't say anything either. That and the fact that she was gesturing at me from like a good distance away seemed to suggest either that she was shy, or that I'm pretty scary looking.

Pesimist that I am, I have a bad feeling it's the latter.

But time was passing and we weren't getting any younger. She was shy/scared. I was at a loss for words. We both were late for class.

So I manage to extract the words 'Don Bosco?' from my temporarily malfunctioning larnyx, and with the wordless shake of her head, indicating the affirmative, we're in the auto and off.

It's a five minute journey from the station to college.

For some reason, sitting there in silence was extremely hard for me to do. But then, there really wasn't anything to say. I ran through the options in my head.

-I could talk about the weather-
Oh what a sad cliche.

-I could ask her if she's in B.E or H.M/which stream/which year, that kinda thing-

Gosh, what am I, a damn stalker?
I tried to imagine what my reaction would be to an annoying pissant I met on, say, a bus, who asked me pointless questions unprovoked. It wouldn't have been encouraging.

-I could just say something like 'Hi'-

And come across as some sort of slow-minded moron. We've been in the same auto for like 2 minutes already, and NOW you say 'hi'.

Aw dammit, my brain tells me. Why should this be so hard?It's just conversation. it's just being polite. There's no trace of an ulterior motive here. Just meeting new people in college, thats all.
But it was.

Can't even blame it on the hormones. She wasn't that hot or anything.

And I realized that even if society was open to random conversations between total strangers, I'd never be able to bring myself to say anything. I'm too much of a recluse.

I didn't say a thing.
Neither did she. Though she did look at me and open her mouth as if to say something a few times, but then changed her mind. I guess the silence bothered her too.

The ride felt like an eternity.

And so started a really crappy day. I have unit tests next week, Sems in 3 months., and tuts all the time.

And no pretty girl to talk about it with...

5 comments:

Dylan said...

XD Nice one..! (post, I mean)

Damn at least you HAVE pretty girls in your college!

Daone said...

that's the most human sounding post on your blog. absolutely loved it(sadly i could totally place myself in your seat). but hey, how would asking if she was in B.E. or something make you a stalker? its just because of that over-active mind of yours.
i remember same thing happening to me in somaiya. a girl(not pretty, not eye-catching) sat with her friend on her lap(both 17 yr old!) and 4 of us were crunched in the back seat of the auto. i just exclaimed, 'Comfortable, huh' and that broke ice. we were chatting all the way.
never saw her again after that. dunno, rather, don't wanna know what it means!

Viper said...

WTF?! What are you? Crack? I'd have asked her all those questions and more. Don't be so self conscious and think so much before you talk. Making convo with a girl isn't that tough. Next time you see her, go up to her confidently and say hi or smile, and ask her her name. Opportunities might knock on your door twice, but girls don't bother.

sidd said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Omg!! I was reading this blog thinking its written by a girl for some reason!! I dunno why I thought that :s

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