Assoholic...

My Math professor is an Assoholic- which is to say, he's addicted to being an asshole...

It doesn't give him enough pleasure to give us IIT level sums which he knows we haven't covered in the portion yet, but he shouts at us like a cranky drill seargent hopped up on a coffee and red bull cocktail...complete with his special brand of trash talk...

 

I'm not saying that he says things like 

'You call that differentiation? My Grandma differentiates better than you!'

or

'You boys couldn't integrate a straight line...'

or

'You need to solve a sum every 10 seconds in CET, soldier, and you know what, listening to me, you just wasted 10 seconds! Hop to work, ya lazy no-good, sleep loving, life-having scumbag!' 

But I'm saying he's almost there...

He also takes great pleasure in discussing his weekend plans, smack dab when wer'e in the middle of a real mind boggler, and as a result, I really don't know the answer, but I know that gaping asshole has watched 'You don't mess with the Zohan, Chaos Theory, Hamlet and Hari Puttar (WTF ?-_-) in the past week, not because they were any good, but just because he could...

Arrogant IITian...one of the few bad examples I've met. Here I take the opportunity to quote Samuel L Jackson from one of his most intellectually stimulating movies...-XXX...

'Why is it always the Assholes who pass the tests?'

Maybe I should Re-Think Things...

Just had an argument with a friend over whether god cares about humans or not, where at the end she got offended and decided never to talk to me again...

That's when I messaged another friend (Himura_Kenshin, for those of you who know him) and asked him the same thing

What followed was this pretty wierd conversation-

Me: Hey, religious question- Do you think God cares about humans?

HK- Actually, I'm an Atheist, did you forget?

Me: Ah...well...I guess I did, but assuming there is a God, what do you think?

HK- I don't think he/she/ really cares. If he/she did George Bush wouldn't be alive and Saddam wouldn't be dead...

Me: Yeah, that's what...what? Saddam...Hussein?

HK: Yeah, him...great statesman, did a lot for Women in the country and stood up to the American Invaders.

Me: Wasn't he like...a mass murdering dictator of some sort, you know, gassing villages with nerve gas, so the people wouldn't think of rebelling and stuff...

HK: VX Gas was never found! it was all false propoganda...

Me: Didn't National Geographic get those pics of scar faced villagers?

HK: Ever heard of Photoshop? -_-

Me: Um...not so probable back in 91...

...It's around this time when I start thinking, 'when the only guy on your side thinks Saddam Hussein is the bomb, maybe there need to be a few changes in your philosophy...'

Is There a Priest in the House?

On my way to class last week, I noticed two men distributing flyers on topics such as 'Is there a God', and 'Death is not the End' and such like. You know the type, spreading religious goodwill and that sorta thing. Members of a Christian organization, they were, and I admire their bravery...

Especially when nowadays they might get shot up for something like that...

Which makes me wonder how much attention God is really paying to us. And why doesn't He step in when people use Him as an excuse to go out and kill people...

Religion has ended up doing as much harm, as good...

Feedback

People never really need that much of a reason to get together. They may be attracted to each other and have no idea why, they just feel that way.

Makes sense that break ups occur in much the same way, when people stop, for whatever reason, feeling whatever they used to.

But since we never question good thing when they come our way, and whine about the crap when it hits us in the face, I think it's quite a pain to be given a vague reason like 'I just don't feel that way anymore'.

Say whatever you want to, 'Your taste in clothes suck',

'Your deo does nothing for you',

'You look about as attractive as a pair of mud wrestling hippos'...

whatever...you're breaking up, chances are the person's feeling pretty bad anyway. Might as well give em some pointers to improve on.

Which is why I think we ought to make a feedback system for failed relationships...you know, like the ones you got at the end of camps and stuff? Yeah, the ones where everyone wrote 'Twice a day', when you were expected to write your sex...Those form things...

Something like...

'Breaking up after the duration of _____(days/months/years/minutes), It is my last request to you, for old times sake, to pen down the cause of this break up (In not more than 60 words) and answer a few simple questions about our relationship that will help improve the experiences for future partners.

Reason for Break-up_____________________________________________________

Was the 'We can Still be friends' line used?

• Yes

• No

If 'Yes' then was the Offer to downgrade from partner to friend accepted?

• Yes
• No

Did you establish partnerships with Other parties for similar services within the duration of the relationship?

• Yes
• No

If Yes, who is the Punk-ass man-whore in question?-__________________

What would you rate the 'Arrow experience' on a scale of 1 to 10- _____

Would you recommend the 'Arrow Experience' to your friends?

• Yes

If 'Yes' kindly provide the Names and contact numbers of five of your friends. Pics will be appreciated.

_________

_________

_________

Other comments/Suggestions, if any-________________________________________

Thank you for your participation in this survey!'

I dunno about you guys, but this is a system I could get used to...better than hearing 'It's just not working out' or something, anyway.

Our Despo Heroes

I have discussions with my friends sometimes about why the average Indian male is such a freaking horndog.

Which is when I realize, the reason the average Indian man is so perverted...

...Is because the average Indian role model is, too.

Watch the guys staring at the lady's low rider jeans and grinning. Sachin seems to be consciously avoiding looking anywhere in the general direction of the exposed undergarments in question.

But hey, the average homosexual need not assume that cricket is a 'straight pervs only' game...


Because here we see Shreesanth...I suggest you observe closely and notice something

The hand grabbing Shreesanth's privates is not his own, Shreesanth's right hand has the black band on it.

Inference 1- It isn't Sachin, he's usually scratching HIMSELF...

Inference 2- It isn't Dhoni, he's the wicket keeper, and he knows to catch the right balls...also, the gloves make it obvious it isn't him...

Inference 3- It isn't any of the three pervs from the above picture, their hands may be busy with certain other activities...

Inference 4- It's probably a batsman, who doesn't normally have his hands on the ball, and doesn't really know the difference without looking...

Conclusion 1- That's a pretty...intense...way to celebrate...I don' t even want to imagine what goes on in the dressing room...

Conclusion 2- Cricket can be incredibly gay sometimes, thus catering to the depraved masses...No wonder Football isn't popular here...