E.V.S. Randomness

Scene: Exam Hall 10 minutes before the E.V.S. exam.

Me: So...What's the portion?

G. : Ahh...You know...Pollution, Major Environmental Issues, Disasters...that kinda thing...

Me: Oh...so...didja study for it?

*Awkward pause, Followed by the laughter of everyone, including me...*

Yeah, Right, like thats gonna happen...

I support the move Of the Maharashtra Board Of Education, to make E.V.S. Compulsory...
After the absorption of large amounts of perfectly irrelevant trivia under the guise of Secondary Education in the 10th std. board exam, I believe that The inclusion of E.V.S. is a great way to develop a skill that comes in handy in everyday Life- The Art Of Bullshit

The best way to make people believe that you are smarter than you actually are...

Looking at the average E.V.S answer sheet, you can see that even if the student might know only one point out of the required four, by twisting and turning the words of the limited information he has, he can make it into as many points as he feels like...

Thus, very few people look through the textbook...and end up having Random conversations about the portion...

Eg:

What to do In case Of a Natural Disaster?

• Move away from the centre of the Disaster, as quickly as possible, to minimize risk to life and limb.
• Run away
• Travel far away from the area of major impact
• Haul your ass the hell outta there...
• In case of Flood, swim Away
• In case of Fire, move quickly towards flood prone area.
• In case Of Fire On The Mountain, run, Run, RUN!
• In case of Toxic Fume Poisoning, do not breathe in.
  
• Curl up in a fetal position and wait for your inevitable destruction, while hoping and praying that it will be swift and painless...though it probably won't be...
• etc, etc...

And some people have strange answers to straightforward questions-

State True Or False

...2)The INSTRUMENT used in measuring Earthquake intensity is the Richter Scale...

A Large number of people said 'True', and argued vehemently about it's being correct...

(The simple explanation is that saying this is 'True' is like saying you measure speed with a 'meteres per second'...)

And the others had to make them see the light of reason by explaining that The Richter scale s NOT some sort of foot-ruler that you stick into earthquake prone area to get a reading...

But the one which takes the cake is the opening line to an answer given by a Commerce student sitting next to me-

Q5
iii) Explain Water Pollution.

Ans. Water pollution is made in water...

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I'll be as free as a bird in a cage with clipped wings as soon as the exams are over. I solemnly swear to update on a regular basis from then.

Chemistry Practicals using Acidic Bases...

'Right, so when you put acid in with base, you get salt and water, and because of the indicator, it changes colour to pink, and thats a sign to stop adding base and measure the liquid levels...'

Titration/Volumetric Analysis, call it what you want, it's easy money...

Except if your Lab Assistant is a complete and utter Screw-up...

I had my practical exams on Friday, Chemistry is just plain simple, because board rules allow the use of the manual during the exam...sort of an Open-book test...

So I got a Titration experiment, find the normality, HCl, NaOH, Yada-Yada-Yada...The usual...

But what was just friggin unusual was when I emptied a burette-full of base into the acid and still couldn't see a color change...
I checked it, double checked it, then decided that it must be a problem with the indicator...I look at my Phenolptalein bottle, and see a piece of chalk floating around...

So I nicked myself another bottle, only to have the same result...

Then I realize that the dude had given me Acid in both beakers, some idiot had filled it into a beaker marked 'base' and then handed it to me, both are colourless, low concentration solutions, and look exactly the same...I go up to the teacher with this, and he doesn't believe me...

His test to see if I'm right? He puts it on his hand...

Yeah...no joke...apparently acid burns differently than base...I can't tell, myself, seeing that I never tried it...He seemingly has a lotta experience with such retarded behaviour...

Blog damn it!

Unfortunately, certain people around me now know that I maintain a blog...

And now, not one single, mundane, boring-ass, everyday event can occur without some smart ass Spaz saying 'Aw, dude, you gotta put this on your blog!'

I mean-

*In College*

Spaz: Hey, that chick is always hanging out with guys! Dude, you should write about it on your blog!

Me: -_- ...No

*In an Electronics Lecture*

Spaz: Oh man, is Sir pulling his cell phone out from under his shirt?

Me: Yes, just like he did yesterday...

Spaz:Hey, write about it in your blog!

Me: Ah?um...no, it was funny the last time, but now it's just disgusting...

Spaz: Ah? ya na, thats why it's funny na! hey put it, ok, put it when you reach home today...

Me: No...

*In the Chemistry Lab*

Spaz: Hey look at that! Her hair's on fire! just like last week!Woo Hoo! look at her run!

Me: I am NOT writing about...

Spaz: Why don'tcha write about THAT on your blog!

Me: AARGH!!!!! -_-***

It Went Ahead and made my day...

I was watching an Extreme Sports parody show on AXN when the commentator plays a video of guys experimenting with Mentos and Diet Coke, shooting it into 10 metre high fountains...

This is what he had to say

'Well, if there are any parents watching this, we know whats on your mind, and we agree, this is totally irresponsible, dangerous behaviour...Of course, we also know there are NO parents watching this, Therefore, let's try this with 5 litre bottles instead of 3 litre bottles!

Oh wait, even better, let's try it with 3 boxes of Tic Tac, and Mountain Dew!

Ohhh, no...Wait...Hold it, I got the best one...

Eat 5 kilos of mentos, wait 4 hours for it to digest, and then have a Diet coke Enema!!!!
I Believe I Can Fly!!!!!

Funniest Comment on Soda-Shooting...Ever...

Engrish!

So, with the Beijing Olympics coming soon, reports are coming in from newspapers talking about how China is rushing to improve it's English skills, in an attempt to attract more spectators and fans, and to make their stay in china more convenient...

I didn't realize it was this bad...they have their hands full taking care of this issue...take a look...



They mean 'no Soccer...'