Thursday, February 25, 2010

Epic Comeback...

Kirk, a friend of mine, wears glasses.
Kirk, this aforementioned friend of mine, also plays football.

For fear of breaking his specs, he never does the above 2 activities at the same time.

Kirk, the friend of mine who I mentioned twice before, is also a very valuable player.
As a result, hecklers in the audience from the opposing team's side never miss a chance to try and pick on him.

I narrate on such incident.

Kirk (a friend of mine) walked on to the pitch for a Comps vs. EXTC inter-class football match, all limbering up, warming up, and basically getting ready to kick balls in goals and such-like.

A voice from the far end of the ground rang out, yelling
"Hey Kirk, you blind bastard, whaddya doin out there, huh? Can you even see without specs?Temme...How many fingers am I holding up?"

he then extended his hand like so-

Kirk's reply was swift, silent, concise, and effective.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

A Tale of FAIL

I posted this a few months back, so This doesn't count as a new post. But what the hell, it makes for a funny read.

*Note: No Twins were hurt during this anecdote. As Far As I Know, Anyway...*

Now I present to you a tale of FAIL.

Ace, Dragon and I go to the same math classes. They take place every Sunday morning at 7:30, Somewhat early, especially for a Sunday.

There's a pair of Twins who come to the class as well. Both girls, with strange fashion sense.
Why so strange you ask? Well, the prof has 3 split AC's in his classroom, and he keeps them all at 16 degrees C.

In other words, we're bloomin freezing.

Even if it's hot as hell outside I try to wear full sleeves when going for his class. Whereas the Twins wear sweaters and miniskirts.
Thats like a fireman wearing only fire resistant pants, and nothing else.
After which they shiver in class. Literally shiver. I'd laugh if it didn't look so sad.

But I digress, all I wanted to mention here, was there are Twins in my class.

So I'm sitting through the lecture, when I notice one of the twins sitting a few benches away, slump in her seat.
At that moment, I'm thinking 'Smart lady, sleeping in class, doing what all of us only think of doing'

A few seconds later, her sister calls out to the prof.
(lets call the fainted one Twin1 and the one awake, Twin2)

Twin2-Sir, she's fainted.
Sir- Who?
Twin2- *points helpfully*
Sir- Oh. Is she asleep?
Twin2- I don't think so, I think she's fainted.
Sir- *Totally disregarding what she just said* Someone, wake her up...

*another girl sitting nearby tries to shake her*
*No response whatsoever from Twin1*

At this point, everyone's attention is totally fixed on the unconscious Twin1.
and Dragon mutters to me, (quite loudly)- 'What an idiot. People who've fainted don't just get up like that.'

I shake my head in the affirmative and we all watch, somewhat concerned.

Sir- Try sprinkling some water on her, she might get up then.

Me-*thinking to myself* I'm not sure thats such a good idea. I think I've read about this before. The cold water might put her into Anyphylactic...

*Nearby girl sprinkles water*


Twin1-* Shoots awake for a few seconds and starts spasming a bit. Then goes back to a prone state*

The whole class is pretty shaken.

Random dude- Oh Fudge!
(except he didn't say 'Fudge')

Another Random Dude- Ben-Toad! What the hell just happened?
(except he didn't say 'toad')

Similar expressions of surprise resonated about the room.

And then the Prof gives the best line of all.

Okay- Pause the story to answer a question-

Lets say you see a person fainted.
What do you do?

1)Apply wet towels to face and neck
2) Call for help
3)Offer their comatose ass a cup of tea

If you answered anything except 3), you're more medically competent than the Prof.

Because the next thing he said was-

Prof- She wants some tea? Maybe then she'll wake up?

Twin2- *with a priceless 'WTF'* expression on her face.* Err. I don't think that'll work.

I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing. The ridiculousness of the situation was too much. Luckily, most of the other students in the class also picked the exact same moment to verbalize their thoughts of 'WTF-titude'

Prof- Okay, so as I was saying, the partial derivative of this is...

Yeah, thats right. He just decided to ignore her. The dude is in his late forties. Don't they say it's the current generation thats all apathetic?

Twin2-*few minutes later* can I call my mom?

PRof-*With an expression of great relief that he didn't have to think of something* Oh yes yes, Please do.

*Twin2 hurries out of the class*

Prof-*Turns around and continues teaching*

A few minutes later Twin2 comes back in and calls Sir as her mom wants to talk to him.
Sir leaves the class and we get a chance to talk.

'holy crap, dude, what a moron. You ever offer tea to an unconscious guy?'
'I swear. The guy just ignored her and kept teaching. Inconsiderate, man.'

The Prof came back in a few minutes and continued teaching.
(Twin1 is still fainted at her desk)

10 minutes later, the most terrifying thing of all.
The Prof had his back turned, and was teaching, when Twin1 regained consciousness, shot awake, and got up as if someone had poked her in the butt with a pin.

1 second shes horizontal, the next moment shes up and running out of the class.

As expected the class reacted with quite a bit of shock.

Random guy1- Oh Fish dude!
(except he didn't say 'Fish')

Another Random guy- Shunt, dude, what the fishing ship is going on? Mutter-Plucking glass-whole dude, I almost had a heart attack.
(except he didn't say 'shunt', 'fishing' or...oh you get the idea)

The Professor didn't notice.(I can't imagine HOW)

But when he turned around and saw the seat empty, he had this awesomely petrified expression on his face and asked 'What happened to her?'

One of the strangest little occurrences to happen in a long time.


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